CRACK
by Sheikan-fire
Summary: Everyone needs a little crack once in a while...an ongoing project started by a challenge from a good friend Gerbil.
1. ShinonxSoren

#1 for Gerbil's challenge. Soren x Shinon. Thanks to Gerbil for her comments and plot ideas, and her invention of Shinon's soft side.

-----Unintentional Hurt-----

"And so, I'm starting to worry..." Stefan's voice.

"Soren...He'll cope. I have a lot of faith in him. He's strong, he'll get through it."

"Has he ever faced something like this?"

"...No."

"Exactly. It's why I'm so worried; he's never had to come to terms with something as life-changing as this. He might be better off if he'd known it all his life, but he hasn't."

"..."

Shinon, on the other side of the thin canvas wall, couldn't help overhearing the discussion. Stefan and Ike were speaking in hushed voices, but Shinon had sharp hearing. Besides, he'd heard Soren's name mentioned, and decided that if the two were discussing Soren, there might be a chance for Shinon to overhear something he wasn't supposed to.

Which he did.

The sniper felt both glad that he'd overheard and could finally hurt Soren when he wanted to, but at the same...He knew that it was a terrible thing to use against somebody, and thought that maybe he should keep it to himself...But, then again, why should he? Everyone knew Shinon's opinion of Soren; pompous and up himself, and Shinon wanted to bring him down, hurt him.

Did he want it that badly...?

The answer soon became obvious. Shinon, drunk and bad-tempered, blurted it out.

"_Maybe you should just shut it! Since when did YOUR opinion count, half-breed!"_

The area, at the time, fell into silence. Soren stared at him, stared with bloody eyes that were completely unreadable. Hundreds of emotions ran through the mage at that point; anger, hatred, sorrow, shock, sadness...

Shinon, even though he was drunk, cursed himself inwardly. He hadn't meant to say that at all. He vaguely registered that Stefan and Ike got up behind him. Soren looked away sharply and ran, his long, thick robes and dark hair fanning out behind him.

-----

"Soren! Oi, Soren! Fuck, where the hell've you got to...? Soren!"

Shinon trudged through the forest, his footsteps heavier than usual. His vision was going and the effects of alcohol were getting to him. He shook his head, only making his headache sharper. The headache wasn't just the ale; he had earned himself a beating from Stefan. Ike had only just managed to restrain himself, as he was Commander and couldn't afford to hit a member of his army, but then he hadn't exactly tried hard to stop Stefan.

"Soren!"

Shinon was well aware that he must look terrible; he certainly felt it. He'd been punched in the eye and already he could feel it swelling. It'd be black tomorrow.

"Where are you, Soren?"

That wasn't the only injury he'd sustained; Stefan had been furious. It had been pretty frightening; the usually-calm swordsman probably would have murdered him there and then had it not been for Ike's belated (and half-assed) attempt to restrain him.

Shinon stopped. He could have sworn he heard something.

As if the thrashing he'd received hadn't been enough, Ike had then (while holding Stefan's arms fast, pinning them behind the swordsman's back) insisted that Shinon go find Soren and apologise to him. Shinon would have refused had it not been an order-- there it was again.

"..." He listened intently.

_Was Soren crying?_

Shinon carried on moving, towards the sound, softening his footsteps. He was very light-footed, and so managed to keep a reasonable pace while not making a sound.

...It was definitely crying. Shinon's stomach lurched. 'Shit,' he thought 'this is bad.'

And eventually he found Soren. He peered through the dense trees and into a clearing with a single, massive tree near the edge, opposite Shinon. Soren was sitting at its base, head down on his knees. Shinon stared. The young mage was a mess. His robes were dirty from all the mud, and his pale face, when he looked up at the staring sniper, was streaked with tear tracks. His eyes were watery and his dark, glossy hair was dishevelled. Shinon felt his heart thud in his chest. Guilt?

Soren dragged his sleeve across his eyes and quickly got up, refusing to look Shinon in the eye.

"Soren!...Don't go. I need to...apologise." Shinon came closer, but Soren kept going.

"I've nothing to say to you!" Soren shouted, his voice filled with pain.

"I'm...Soren, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that, earlier." Now that he said it, he realised that he meant it. Being Branded was a horrible thing...and now that he knew, Shinon suddenly felt he understood Soren, understood why he was so blunt and depressed all the time.

"Then why DID you!" Soren cried, whirling around to face Shinon.

"..." Shinon found he couldn't answer. Why had he said it? He couldn't even think straight. The pain Soren was going through was obvious. The mage wasn't even trying to hide his tears anymore.

"You can't even give me a reason! Do you have any idea how much trouble you've got me into? I could lose my job in this company. I'll have people talking about me even more than usual. I can think of people who will want to punish me for what I am - I could be killed! And all because of your stupidity! 'Sorry' doesn't cut it!"

Shinon stared. He'd had no idea the mage was capable of shouting so loudly.

And a horrible realisation had just hit him. Soren was right - there was a possibility he could be killed. Shinon realised...He didn't want that. He really didn't.

Shinon darted after him, caught his wrist.

"Get off me!" Soren cried, but Shinon only tightened his grasp, not so much that it hurt, but still a rather substantial grip. Suddenly, inexplicably, Soren ended up with his back against the tree with Shinon standing too close for comfort.

"Soren...just listen to me. I said all that earlier because I'd had too much to drink. Stefan beat some sense into me...I'm really sorry. Honestly, if there was a way I could undo it...I know there's no way I could make it better, but...will you accept my apology?"

Soren stared at him, and saw the sincere look in his eyes, knowing that despite all of Shinon's bravado and boasting, the show he put on to make himself look tough, he had a soft side. The tears welled up in Soren's eyes again, and ran down his face. He looked away, a soft whimper emerging from his parted lips.

Shinon did something unexpected, then, in an attempt to make Soren feel better. He twined his arms around Soren's waist and pulled him close. Soren stiffened at first, in his arms, but soon relaxed when he realised he needed the contact, despite who it came from. He leant against Shinon's chest, and cried himself to sleep, the day's exhaustion catching up with him.

-----

Hours later, Shinon leant back, his head resting against the bark of the mighty tree that towered away into the sky. Soren was curled up next to him, still sound asleep, his head resting on Shinon's chest. Shinon absentmindedly stroked Soren's head, running his fingers through the dark locks.

How did they end up like this, again?

The sniper knew he was far from being forgiven, but it was a start.

-----end-----


	2. ShinonxSoren SEQUEL

Sequel. For Gerbil.

-----

"So. Are you still mad with me?"

Soren turned to look at the flame-haired sniper standing in the entranceway to the tent. His eyes narrowed automatically, but he didn't mean it. Ever since he had woken up entwined in Shinon's arms, he didn't know how to act around the sniper.

Thankfully, Ike and Stefan had managed to calm the stampede that had happened when they all found out his secret, but he still occasionally was the victim of casual cruelty from prejudiced members like Lethe. He was just glad it hadn't gone too far.

"I don't know, Shinon. To be honest, you aren't very frequently in my thoughts. I have other things to think about." Soren quipped in return.

"Don't talk crap. I know you've thought about it often enough since then."

"Have you?"

"Yes."

"..." Soren didn't know what to say. Should he be angry or upset? Or...happy, that Shinon was thinking about him? Wait. Why...?

"I know how you feel about me. Why else would you have overreacted the way you did?"

"...I don't know what you're talking about, but you're making an idiot of yourself."

"Hypocrite."

"..." What was Shinon getting at? Soren wasn't even sure if he wanted to know.

Shinon came closer, his eyes fixed on Soren's. The mage couldn't look away. He automatically backed away, and bumped into the rough wooden crates behind him. Soren knew there was only one way out of the supply tent, and that was the exit behind Shinon.

Suddenly Shinon was right in front of him, had him up against the crates. The archer calmly placed a hand either side of the smaller mage, to clamp down on the crates behind Soren.

Trapped.

"I want the truth from you, Soren" murmured Shinon softly. He was so close...

Soren swallowed hard as the man leaned closer, turning his head. The taller of the two had closed the distance between them, and Soren could feel Shinon's body against his.

Soren's breath caught in his throat when Shinon kissed him. He was scared, too scared to do anything. Paralysed, even. Shinon's hand stroking his side broke his spell, and he fumbled a tome out of his robes.

He couldn't use it, though. His hands were shaking and he dropped the heavy book clumsily when Shinon deepened the kiss, running his tongue over Soren's bottom lip. Shinon's lips were incredibly soft, his tongue warm and moist.

Soren pulled away then, his head jerking back sharply. He looked away, breathing heavily. He was aware that Shinon was staring at him, and he wanted so much to run from the tent but Shinon had his arms wrapped around the mage's skinny waist.

"Tell me the truth, Soren. You liked that, didn't you? You enjoyed it. I know you did."

Soren didn't want to look at the sniper, but a slender hand took him by the chin and _made_ him look. The hand, however, was not brutal, it was gentle.

"Tell me, Soren" Shinon's voice had dropped again, to a murmur.

Soren swallowed hard, and answered.

"Yes." he whispered, only just audibly.

"And...? Do you love me? Answer that one, too."

Soren's heart was thudding hard against his ribcage, shaking his body. His head was somewhere in the clouds, and he was dizzy. He was trembling, though not from fear, as he had previously thought.

"...Yes."

Shinon smiled. Not widely, he didn't grin, it was more like a soft smirk, yet not a sinister smirk. Soren's eyes slid shut. He didn't want to look anymore. He tried to calm his thundering heart, his ragged, quiet breaths.

"Good." Shinon leaned in again, and those lips were back against Soren's.

This time, he wasn't nervous. He returned the kiss, shyly.

His heart was still thudding gently, but finally he knew that it wasn't out of fear.

-----


	3. StefanxIke

Something I was asked to do, that I linked to my other crack fics for Soren and Shinon. Yay crack! This is StefanxIke.

---

Stefan's emerald eyes burned with anger, as he strode quickly back to the camp. The glimmering green of his irises were angry and intense - and, like their colour, envious.

"General" said Stefan, loudly, before striding straight into Ike's tent. Ike turned to face him.

"What's the problem, Stefan?"

"The problem is Shinon. Shinon and Soren. They're...they're curled up together in the forest! Did you know they had a relationship?"

Ike stared. "No...I wasn't aware...Stefan, you look...you look angry."

Stefan realised that he probably did.

"Do you...Do you have a thing for Soren?" Ike asked him tentatively.

Stefan looked away. His silence was all Ike needed.

"You...do, huh? I..."

Stefan looked at him. "General...?"

Ike was walking towards him slowly. "If...If you love Soren...does that mean there's no room in your heart for anyone else?"

Stefan stared. "General...What are you getting at?"

"Please" murmured Ike. He reached Stefan and looked up into those beautiful green eyes. Then, he nervously ran a hand over Stefan's chest, and reached up, kissing Stefan gently on the lips. "Call me Ike."

-----continuation, at the request of Gerbil-----

"I- I c-couldn't...I couldn't p-possibly" Stefan's breath was coming fast and quick, partly from nervousness, partly from the thudding of his heart, the passion he felt.

Ike simply looked up into his eyes, and Stefan swallowed hard. His commander looked so cute, he thought, staring up at him with those deep blue eyes. Stefan couldn't help himself, then. He ran his tanned, slender fingers over Ike's jaw, stroking his perfect lips gently with his thumb. The two stared at each other, that new-found passion burning inside their hearts. In each set of eyes, the man standing in front of them looked different. Suddenly Ike's scruffy blue hair looked strokable and something that begged to be touched, those blue eyes so deep that the swordsmaster felt he could drown in them. The texture of Stefan's dark, weather-beaten skin was amazing, rough and interesting to explore with shy, nervous fingertips.

They pulled each other close, running hands over each other's backs and shoulders. They were nervous, to be sure, leaning in to share their second kiss. The second kiss wasn't so fleeting, so brief. It seemed to last for an eternity, but didn't seem to last nearly long enough. Ike's worry that the tent flap wasn't tied shut and anybody could walk in, vanished when their lips touched, along with Stefan's worry about his hands and whether they were too rough and calloused for Ike's taste.

Indeed, all thoughts vanished, both of them concentrating on the moment, yet there was a strange lack of concentration. The kiss was just there, it had taken over their minds to the point that neither of them knew what they were doing, and yet knew exactly what they were doing at the same moment.

They lost themselves in each other's touch, feeling the moist, warm touch of each other's tongues and caressing lips, the sweet warmth of each other's mouths. It was bliss.


End file.
